Listen
by Kasamari
Summary: The difference between the man she loved and the man she loves.


Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach

Listen

She was astounded by how long it had always taken her to realize her own heart. She was even more astounded by the fact that the last time her heart had chosen someone he was remarkably the same, yet incredibly different at the same time. It was when she came to this realization that she began to reflect on their similarities and differences.

Renji was the first. His fiery nature had a tendency to make him stand out in a crowd. She supposed that was why she had helped him and his friends when they had first met. She had told him on many occasions that being so reckless was going to get him into trouble. He did not listen. Growing up with him she had never seen him in any kind of light with the exception that he was her best friend. They looked out for each other, took care of each other, and cared for one another. It was not until they had entered the academy that she came to understand just how much she cared about him.

In all of Soul Society he was her only constant. She could always count on Renji to stay that explosive, short tempered, slightly egotistical person that she had always known. She could rely on him to be there for her when she was worried even if she did not say so openly. He was home to her. The one person that she knew would always stand with her. Then everything changed when the Kuchiki family came into her life.

She was to be adopted. She would be given a place to live and a seat in the Gotei Thirteen. She would be pulled away from her old life and given a completely new one. She did not want that. She liked things the way that they were. She wanted to keep her life. She wanted to stay with Renji. So she asked him, "What should I do?" Her eyes had begged him to ask her to stay. She wanted him to say those words more than anything else. She wanted him to say that he belonged with her, that they belonged together. He did not listen.

It was then that the two of them slowly began to drift apart. Not in the sense that they did not care about each other, but more in the sense that she was beginning to fall out of love with him. She had begun to withdraw from everything around her. She began to not care, even more so after the incident with Kaien-dono. It simply hurt too much to continue to care so much for one person. Then she met Ichigo.

It was surreal to say the least. He looked like Kaien-dono, but he was more similar to Renji in personality. Only worse. Every time she spoke with him she had to use all of her willpower to not yell and most of the time it was not enough. Even so he was a good person. He was stubborn and obstinate, but in a good way. The more she learned about him, the more he intrigued her. He was just so odd.

All too quickly she had grown accustomed to the life she was living in the human world. In his own way he made it so easy to be comfortable and make her feel like she belonged. When the first shinigami came to take her back to Soul Society she had refused to go. Each day after that she told herself she was being selfish. That she was just trying to relive what she had in her childhood. When Byakuya came for her however, reality had begun to sink in.

Renji had fought with him first. She had willed for him to understand her and run, but past experience told her that was not enough. She had to convey her words outright. She told him to run. She latched onto Renji's arm and told him to run. He did not listen. Instead he fought back until Byakuya himself drew his blade. She could not take it. Yet another person she had grown to care for was going to leave her. She told him not to follow her. She said that she would never forgive him. He did not listen. Twice he came for her. Twice she told him that what he was doing was impossible. Neither time did he listen. In the end, whether she thought she had deserved it or not, he had saved her. Against all odds and against all reason, he had saved her. All because he did not listen.

It was amazing really, just how ridiculously similar the man she loved first and the man she loved now were. They were both short-tempered, stubborn, and obstinate. They both pushed themselves to ridiculous lengths. They were both truly kind and gentle at heart. And yet the one thing that they had the most in common separated them completely. Neither one of them actually listened when it mattered the most.

A/N: This is just something that's been swimming around in my head pretty much since I learned the Renji/Rukia background story all those years ago. I hope you all enjoyed it!


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